When we undergo relationship troubles, we either find a way through it, or we end up drawing a line in the sand, and bidding goodbye to them. Whether it’s our choice or not, going through a breakup can be difficult. Either we find ourselves out of routine, or we fall into bad habits that were coming to a head while the relationship was. Sometimes we just go out and party too much, or we go into ourselves and wallow. We can make a few bad lifestyle choices after a breakup, but what’s important is that we recognize the common trappings, so we avoid them.
The Onset Of Addiction From Being Social
Perhaps we feel that, to reclaim some sense of control over our lives, that we do go out and socialize more, but this means more hangovers, feeling worse over time, and, quite possibly, these addictions causing us infinite problems in our daily lives. Sometimes we can do it for a while and put it behind us, but once it becomes a habit that we struggle to break, this is when we’re in trouble. Something like smoking is a very good example, because maybe we had a partner that didn’t like us smoking, but now we are free, we can smoke as much as we want. But, that’s never to say that it’s a good thing! It’s about learning to curb these habits before they become detrimental to our health. While these days, there are numerous ways to substitute smoking, such as using vape juices derived from salts, or just avoiding social triggers, when we have that freedom thrust upon us that the end of a relationship brings, the temptation can be too go overboard. We have to recognize this before it becomes a problem.
Replaying The Bad Memories
Whether you are the person who did the breaking up or not, there is a multitude of guilt associated with the end of a relationship. You could think that you should have done things better, or you replay a moment over and over again in your mind. This isn’t conducive to “moving on.” By going over the bad moments, you are effectively keeping them at the forefront of your mind, and the more you replay them, your mind begins to take on these negative thoughts. This is very detrimental to your own frame of mind. Instead, think about replacing these bad memories with better ones.
We’ve all had relationships in our lives that ended terribly, but there were positives that would arise from them. Sometimes we have nothing good to say about past relationships, but whatever happens, it’s important to avoid falling into the traps that force you to replay these moments in your mind. Perhaps you find it all too simple to have a quick glance on social media to see what they are up to, but you know this is bad for you in the end. You do it because you either want to know if they’re okay or that they aren’t doing so well and you not being there leaves a massive gap in their lives. The fact of the matter is, what’s done is done, it’s better to retrain your brain to learn growth strategies. We learn from relationships in the past so we don’t make these mistakes in the future. But when you are constantly replaying bad moments or memories, you are punishing yourself needlessly.
Sitting And Wallowing
There are two schools of thought to this: in one respect, sitting at home and going through what happened can be a way to process the information. But, much like replaying the incidents in your mind, there’s only so much you can get out of it. By sitting and focusing on the negativity of the situation, you can lose track of your life. After all, it’s your life that you are in control of, and what can benefit you, rather than sitting and wallowing, is to go and wholeheartedly embrace a routine.
Sometimes we sleep too much after a breakup, or we don’t sleep at all. Or maybe we start to emotionally eat, drink too much, and just throw all semblance of routine out of the window. Sticking to a routine is something that we, as humans, need. When we have a routine, this gives us a structure, but also a little pleasure from the small moments in life. While it’s a cliché to say that we need to get back onto the horse, what we need to do before that is to start to structure our lives again. But this time, we do it in a way that we want. After all, the big benefits of being your own person again is that you can do what you want, when you want. And why shouldn’t you take advantage of this? As nice as it is to share your life with someone else, think about taking responsibility for everything that belongs to you. Take advantage of setting a pattern that benefits you.
Resetting Your Life
We can all fall into bad habits after a breakup, but it’s important that we understand that this is Year Zero. We are able to start all over again, and even if we don’t want to, the benefit of this is that we can see what we missed out on before. Sometimes we have to escape our comfort zone so we can learn what’s really good for us. And when we go through a breakup, it forces us to re-evaluate what’s important. Perhaps we had our priorities wrong. Just after a breakup, we go through a rough patch. It’s inevitable, and it all happens to us. But if we start to focus on the overwhelming negative, we will never reset our lives.
If we find the bad habits that we can all fall into, and learn to sidestep them, or accept them and move on, this means that we are going to emerge out the other side of the tunnel. Sometimes we need that blowout, and a few bad lifestyle choices are par for the course, but once these couple of days turn into a couple of weeks, then months, and then years, it’s time to truly re-evaluate the situation.