Most relationships reach a point where the two people decide to live together. This is a very exciting step to take, but you might also feel a bit nervous about it. That’s normal since going from being in a relationship with someone to living with them is a big change. Even if you’re sure it’s the right thing to do, you should weigh the pros and cons carefully and deal with any fears you might have. So, with that in mind, here are some tips that will help you do that and make it easier to move in together.
Share Your Fears
In a healthy, serious relationship, you should be able to talk about virtually everything, even things you might ordinarily keep secret from other people. So, if you are worried or scared about moving in with your partner, it makes sense to talk to them about it. There’s a good chance they’ll have fears, too, and you’ll be able to help each other get over them, no matter what they are.
You might be worried about not having enough time to yourself, or you might not be sure how to split the bills. What about chores around the house? Maybe you’ll both realize you want to get some help in that department from Highland Park Housekeeping, for example. What if the relationship doesn’t work out? You probably don’t want to think about this, but it is a concern, and you should have a plan for it, just in case. Talk about whatever is bothering you. This will help you feel less worried and more comfortable with the new situation.
Talk About Lifestyle Choices
As we’ve said, it’s important to talk with your partner, and you shouldn’t just talk about who takes out the trash and who does the grocery shopping. You’ll also need to talk about how your lives will change or not change when you move in together. What are some of your interests? Will you still go out to play sports, make art, or do other things most nights after you move in together? What about your partner? What are their interests, and will you make them change their lives? What happens depends on the people involved and is up to you, but you should talk about it first, so everyone knows where they stand.
Or maybe they aren’t hobbies at all, but things that people do at home. You might like to walk around in your underwear. Will that be a problem? When you live with someone, you get to see a new side of them, and it’s best if there aren’t too many surprises.
Set Healthy Boundaries
We’ve already talked about hobbies, so now it’s time to talk about setting healthy limits. The truth is that everyone needs time alone and needs to pursue their own interests. If your partner doesn’t share the same interests as you, that doesn’t mean you have to give them up. In fact, it’s great if you can do things on your own or with someone else.
It’s also important to keep in touch with family and friends. Just because you moved in with a partner doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy and take care of your other relationships.
In other words, even if you live with a partner, you still need your own space and time to do your own things. This can happen if you set boundaries early on.
Consider A Trial First
Even though it might feel like a waste of a month’s rent, it’s a good idea to “try out” living together before you sign a lease. A month is a good length of time. It gives you enough time to settle in, get to know their routines, and let your guard down. This is the ultimate litmus test for what it would be like to wake up with your partner every day.
What does it look like when we don’t agree and can’t just go our separate ways for a few days? How does your partner relax when they aren’t doing well? When it’s not “date night,” what do they do? You don’t know what you’re missing until you see it, and in this case, you’ll see everything. If you live together for a month and like how it looks, then go ahead and sign the lease. If you see warning signs, bring them up so you can both figure out how to deal with them.
A trial that doesn’t go so well isn’t necessarily the end of the relationship, but it will give you some things to work on before you truly commit.
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